“What are you leaving for the tip?” my husband asked, studying our share of the dinner check we were splitting with my newish girlfriend and her husband, whom we were meeting for the first time. The restaurant was reasonably priced, so I was stunned when my friend’s husband replied, “Thirty-two.” “That can’t be right,” I […]
Last week I got an email telling me that someone had bought two items from this site and paid me through paypal. The email didn’t look like what I usually receive, so I got suspicious and was afraid to to near my computer. The most logical explanation was that someone had hacked me and if […]
I can see the invitations now: Mr. and Mrs. Martin Morgenstern are relieved to announce the marriage of their daughter Rhoda to Douglas Hemple … who’s not nearly good enough for her. I’d planned on using that joke when I got married, but it didn’t look promising. My longest relationship lasted from dinner to breakfast. […]
https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2017/02/06/how-writing-for-mary-tyler-moore-helped-make-after-all/HIDqArVEumtDY1DmOwq4uJ/story.html
Hillary’s emails disclosed After conducting a lengthy investigation into Clinton’s private email server, the FBI is nearing a verdict whether to seek criminal charges against the former Secretary of State, Senator and First Lady. A sampling of the secret exchanges has been released by WikiLeaks? Hillary Clinton Email Archive From: Senior Soulmates To: Hillary Clinton […]
http://nextactforwomen.com/art-music-performance/from-comedy-writer-to-mosaic-artist-in-midlife-sybils-story/
Because the Ghostbusters, Batman, and reptile lady I’d hired for our son’s early birthday parties had been so well received, I’d expected I would be involved in the planning of his recent wedding. “I’d like you to play ‘Sunrise, Sunset’, ” I told him on the phone. He didn’t respond, which I attributed to their […]
Dear Shoshana, You can trust me on this: street harassment ends. I’ve been walking the streets of New York for decades, often wearing black pants and a black tee shirt very much like what you wore for your ten-hour experiment. While I didn’t get as much attention as you did, I had plenty of offers […]
http://www.abbottandhast.com/MmanCURRENT.html – a bit of a departure (yes, that’s a pun) about how I started designing memorial urns. They can be ordered on www.personalized-urns.com
Mel Brooks did what so many have wanted to: he gave Hollywood the finger. It was a fake finger the 2,000 Year Old Man added to his left hand to leave a distinctive print in the cement next to the TLC Chinese theatr. He explained it was “just in case somebody from Des Moines, Iowa, […]
“This is your captain. I welcome you to the Passover Flight. On all other flights, we sit upright. But on this flight, we recline. It’s getting worse up there in the air. A new device, The Knee Defender, is being brought on board by those out to make it impossible for the person in the […]
Would you rather be buried or cremated?” is a question some of us are asked more frequently than “Want to get it on?” so I’ve been reflecting on it. The problem was less about the how than the what. The truth is I want to stick around, which isn’t always an option. The closest one gets is being […]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sybil-adelman-sage/your-fears-reveal-your-ag_b_5668463.html?utm_hp_ref=comedy&ir=Comedy
During breakfast today, I read about Ebola, the disasters in Israel and the Ukraine, and a shootout in Greenwich Village two blocks from my home so opened the Science section of the paper, looking for good news only to find Jane Brody urging us to shop for a nursing home. For me shopping – whether […]
Each time I’m disappointed by a new vacuum cleaner, wine cooler or skin lightener, my husband says, “I told you not to trust online reviews!” That’s also his reaction when I push to try a restaurant that got 40 fabulous reviews minutes after it opened. I’ve accused him of being overly suspicious only to find […]
“See who’s viewed your profile,” is the new, “Want to know what so and so said about you?” LinkedIn makes no pretense of being discreet. The site is no better than the yenta friend who can’t wait to tell you that someone said something about you. Today they told me that only 21 people have […]
I’m not surprised to be reading that pets have become extremely important to young singles, who find that a dog or cat is less stressful than being with a lover (though in defense of humans, an animal, no matter how devoted, will never pick up the cleaning). There is now the phrase, “pets as partners,” […]
Forget all those tests on Facebook that claim to uncover the real you. Nothing is more revealing than which apps you have on your smart phone (I’m distinguishing it from the landline for those old enough to be confused). My list and the reason I chose each: Flashlight: for reading a menu and the full […]
The attention given to Justin Harris, whose computer showed he’d read online about leaving children in a locked car and what it’s like to serve time before his 22-month-old son was found dead in his car, made me anxious about searching for sites offering help with extra-marital affairs. What I found is that cheating […]
In 20024 (back when people still had jobs and droves of unpaid interns weren’t yet returning home to their parents) they studied 909 Texas working women, concluding that parenting is not necessarily a source of happiness. Bottom line was creating babies is not something you should try at home. Out of nineteen activities, the women […]
Fu*k, my nippers broke Ask someone else. I don’t work here. (at Home Depot) Where are the Band-aids? I cut myself. (at CVS) That dark stuff? It’s grout. (at nail salon) My hair? It got messed up by the face mask I wear while grouting. (at hair salon) The red on my nose? Must be […]
Those lists, whether it’s 10 or 100, citing things you should do before you die mean nothing to me. I don’t need to go on a gondola in Venice or jump out of an airplane. What if the parachute doesn’t open and, in fact, that’s what causes me to die? I have things I don’t […]
As soon as the temperature goes above 50 in New York, my husband and I have a surge in popularity because our friends have summer houses with guest rooms to fill. “Maybe this year you’ll come to the Cape… We’d love to have you visit in the Hamptons… Think about spending a weekend with us […]